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Well as expected I'm fat bloater of the week. I've no-one to blame but myself as I gave up totally on the diet and ate normal food. The problem is, is that when I reach my ideal weight - how can I go back to a normal diet if I just put the weight back on? The thought of spending eternity suffering just to be a more socially acceptable weight is crazy - especially as the whole reason I need to lose weight is cos I need to remove as many of the unattractive features of me as possible. Except being unhappy cos I'm not eating properly is surely just as bad as being unhappy cos I'm overweight. If only being single forever was a viable option.

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The problem is, is that what it defines as "bad" foods are often a vital part of a normal meal. Sure it's all well and good being able to eat a vast pile of meat, but without pototoes or something along those lines it just doesn't work. The converse is true also.

Thats my problem. I want exciting food. Pasta every night of the week is getting boring and dull and eventually I'll never ever want to see another bit of pasta ever again.

I'd love to do ready meals, but I've yet to find a supermarket[*] that sells any that are sin free. There isn't any point wasting sins on normal food as then I don't have any left for treats and I feel (more) miserable.

I have plenty of motivation, but it's for all the wrong reasons. I don't care if I'm fat - I'm just losing it in a vain attempt to make myself at least vaguely likeable.


[*] As Linette will confirm - Ashford Tescos which is very very large has hardly any.

Thats the one I can't get to easily.

I know. I don't get home until late, so if you give me a lift there, it'll have to be at the weekend?