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*sigh* Got a note from my downstairs neighbour asking if I could sort out the front garden (which is mine). Damn. Means I'm going to have to work out what on earth I'm going to do with it, beyond just digging up everything and start from scratch.

All I've got so far, is an overwhelming desire to get rid of all the grass - but I suspect just digging that up and then not doing anything else is going to look like I'm just being silly or lazy or something?

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5 minutes? I doubt it'd take even that long. It's probably about 1.5m x 4m. I'd expect it'd take longer to get a lawn mower downstairs and setup than it would to cut the grass. And I've got nowhere to store a lawnmower either.

Where as I've got plenty of space to store small gardening doodahs. In fact I've already got a tiny fork thingy.

I think there are several people who read my LJ that know gardening too, but I'll poke omentide when I see her next - unless I get loads of good ideas from people before then.

Blimey, that isn't worth any effort.
I'm sure you could borrow a lawnmower (a strimmer would probably do in your case) from someone or one of those hire places.
What worries me is that you have more room for gardening things than actual garden space. ;oP

Actually...I think it's worse than that...I think I might have over estimated the size by at least 20%. I'm crap at judging sizes. But it's certainly very very very small and thin.

Well when I say I have room, I've got a store cupboard in the kitchen which I could put small gardening tools in. I doubt I'm going to need lots of large tools.