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Not wanting to sound like I'm jumping on a bandwagon, but I've been having some thoughtful ponderings myself on the nature of relationships. But I decided to wait until I wasn't falling asleep at my keyboard to write it down. Last night's LJ entry would have been much longer and verbose if I'd not been half asleep. Not that I'm much more awake now though :)

I was wondering what the difference between a date and just 2 people going out and doing something was. Is it purely down to the intentions behind the people involved, or does there have to be squidgy stuff?

Cos I've taken women out for dinner before in the past, but they've not been dates. But I can't see there being any different to what I did then and what I'd do on a date. Cos from my perspective, the most important part is being with the person - what you actually do is irrelevant. Or am I missing something? I guess it'd help if I'd been on an actual date to compare it with.

Anyhow, got in to work 40 minutes earier than usual. w00t!


I think a date (in this sense) is something that you'd go along to with someone that you'd possibly like to be involved with romantically, I suppose they'd also need to possibly want to be involved with you romantically for it to qualify. But you're right; technically a 'date' is just a meeting up somewhere to do something with each other.
a 'date' is meet up where the potential for a future romantic relationship is explored. there doesn't have to be any squidgy stuff, but a date is a romantic engadgement quite specifically. For example i told gordons friend adrian that i would be happy to accompany him to the cinema, on the strict understanding that it was not a date. Whilst the actions on a date may be quite similar looking on the outside, the mental processes are quite different, and the eventual follow on is different also. With the cinema example, if i just went to hang out we could chat about the film and the like and there would be no subtext. there wouldn't be the 'is this working? can i kiss them now? will there be future dates? Do they reciprocate my feelings?' aspect to it.

I haven't explained too well, but a date is distinctly different to just hanging out with another person.

I guess I'm strange then, cos no matter what the intent behind such a cinema trip, I'd still be wondering if it was going OK and if the person liked me or whatever. Maybe I'm treating life like one giant date or something.


there is a difference between wonderingif things are going ok with a friend, and wondering if things are progressing romantically.

One possible way of working out if you are treating everything in the world as a date, is think if there would be differences in how you would behave if the gender of the person was different.

Hmmm... thats a tricky question. Well the only difference I can think of, is that I wouldn't normally do stuff with a guy like that? Unless it was a large group of us going?

I'm guessin this is the wrong answer to give though? :(


i don't think there is a right or wrong answer to that, its about how you see and interact with the world.

Well it looks like I interact with girls the same as on a date as I would do on a normal social activity - which if word got out about, then I'd imagine such activities would dry up as they all thought I was trying to date 'em sneakily.

I guess if you include the post-date snuggling or whatever as part of a date, then it makes non-date things more non-datey.