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I've just finished watching High Fidelity, which like the book is awesome. If any of you is worried that the transition from London to Chicargo ruined it - it didn't. Anyhow, it got me thinking - did Rob's first "relationship" warp his views of women and dating? It seems on the surface that it does, because of all his breakups are because he's insecure that he can keep the girl. Even the one that he dumped gives the impression that deep down, he did it because he feared she'd leave him for someone less grabby.

Once I started thinking along those lines, I naturally end up wondering if the same is happening to me. Except that I can't actually remember much about my first girlfriend apart from the following points.

  1. She liked kissing. It's pretty much all we did together.
  2. She had dark/brown hair
  3. And her parents moved away, taking her with them without any kind of real warning.

Thats pretty much it. I just remember her saying that she was leaving and that was that. Of course being only 8 (or so) this fact didn't really mean much to me. The idea that someone was moving didn't really seem to equate with the fact that I'd never see them again. So it came as no real shock that since I didn't make any attempts to keep in contact that I didn't see her again.

Did this mentally/emotional scar me? I have no idea. There were later events that did, but they affected my desire to date, rather than my actions within a relationship. I guess, as in the film, every girl I've had any kind of Relationship with has screwed me over (although not literally) which could be as much a contributory to my cynicism.

I guess in the end, I can't really have this mental wrangle until I've got a suitable data-set.

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